I know this isn’t related to periods/pregnancy, but I just really need to speak my mind somewhere and don’t really have a support network aside from my boyfriend, which is what the post is kinda about.

My boyfriend is amazing and always there for me, has helped me through a lot of stuff to do with family, work, etc. In the past few months we’ve both been under stress, and I’ve just felt like he hasn’t been his usual self with me, which has fuelled a lot of anxiety on my part. Pretty much every time he did something I deemed off, I’d get anxious and bring him up on it. This caused a lot of arguments, as I’d feel like he was being off with me and he’d feel like I was unnecessarily criticising him. For unrelated reasons we’ve been apart for the past two weeks, and last week he told me he had enough of my criticisms - we’ve been on the rocks ever since.

During this two week period of time, an old friend reached out to me. Throughout my relationship with my boyfriend, we’ve had a very insular relationship and don’t spend time with other people except each other or family (outside of work). This old friend casually said we should catch up sometime, and it caused me to get hella anxious; anxious because, since my boyfriend wasn’t here and was mad with me, the messages felt like they were exchanged behind his back, and also because I wasn’t sure if meeting up with her to catch up would be okay with him. So I messaged him to ask what the boundaries are in our relationship since this is pretty new territory and I didn’t want to do something else to make him upset, and he said he just wants me to do what makes me happy; because we are still on the rocks though, he got upset with my messages because he said he doesn’t understand why I make everything so complicated. I’m here wondering whether that’s a test, wondering whether I even want to reconnect with this old friend or just don’t want to let them down, wishing I never spoke to my bf about it or ever received a message from my friend. But this scenario is literally like every single thing that happens in my life when it involves other people - I overthink myself into oblivion until its not even clear what I want.

Why am I like this? My indecisiveness causes so many problems in my relationship. Also, my anxious outlook on my boyfriend’s actions makes me persuade myself he doesn’t love me, which hurts him. My poor self image makes me hate my body and that puts me off sex which also affects my relationship. I guess there’s no wonder it’s on the rocks.

I just wanted to know how I can make any of this better, and want to know if anyone else has experienced anything like this? Am I crazy? Do I need to seek help?