I’m 20 weeks today. Half way through my pregnancy. I’ve had anxiety and depression since I was pretty young. It’s gotten worse over the years due to traumas I went through. When I finally wanted to get help because I felt like I couldn’t do it on my own anymore I couldnt even use the help I was given. I learned that I was pregnant two weeks after I had started my medication so I had to stop it.

Its been 5 months and in those 5 months my anxiety and depression have made me feel the worst I’ve ever felt. My depression used to make want to hurt myself but it’s not like that this time. This time it’s my anxiety causing my depression. I feel so helpless. I cant do anything about my anxiety because I am pregnant. So it’s getting really bad. Like really bad. I feel like I’m dying all the time. I’m so anxious all the time. It never stops. It’s a constant thing. I can’t even sleep a full night without waking up thinking I’m dying or having a panic attack.

I want to just ignore it like I did so many times before but I can’t. It eating me alive and the hardest thing is that I can’t do anything about it. I don’t know what to do but I can’t live like this.