I typically don’t post, but I enjoy reading posts from all you November mamas!

Long story, short, my husband and I have had two losses (missed miscarriage at 16w & early loss at 4w) within the past year. I’m counting my blessings as we are currently pregnant with our healthy rainbow due 11/13/19. Given our experience, we haven’t announced yet. We are, however, hosting a gender reveal party on Sunday. We only are including our immediate families ....or this is what I would have liked and what I had envisioned.

My MIL reached out to ask if her “best friend” and her best friend’s daughter could come to the party. My initial reaction was ‘no’. My husband told her we would prefer to keep it only family given the vulnerability and the fact we haven’t publicly announced (some friends don’t even know). My MIL started crying and said she is “floored” her friend cannot come, and that she “deserves to experience joy, too”. (Don’t get me started on that statement, alone!). Because of her reaction, I caved, but I made my husband reiterate all the reasons we are against it.. hoping to give her a chance to reconsider her selfishness. No such luck.

Today, I was experiencing cramps. They were prominent enough that I felt the need to call my doctor’s office. I was advised to take Tylenol and go to the hospital if the pain worsens or I begin bleeding. Praise God neither is the case. However, I’m scheduled to meet my doctor tomorrow for reassurance.

This worry and stress is the reason I didn’t want want a big reveal. The first time I was pregnant I had envisioned a large party with family and friends. This time is different. I’m holding my breath in between appointments. While I have a strong faith and trust I will get to bring this baby home, I know God is in control and can call this baby home at any moment, too. I am feeling resentful toward my MIL that I’m out of my comfort zone to appease her. This is not the hill I want to die on, so that’s why I gave in. Plus, I don’t want to be selfish. But now I’m sacrificing my wellbeing. Am I overreacting?

(I should also add, once I had my D&E with my mmc, my MIL completely stopped asking how I was feeling. It was like, “oh the surgery took care of the problem”. Never asked how I was. So, I also think, can I really hold her accountable for understanding this when she didn’t realize the emotional aftermath of a loss?).