I feel so guilty.

Before some of you get upset and “attack” me hear me out.

This is my second child I’ve breastfed. I BF my daughter 2.5 years and my son is now arriving at 6 weeks. I suffered Overproduction both times. Hoping this time I can “fix” the problem. I donated over 500 oz still after breastfeeding my daughter. Right now I have over 2000 frozen oz in my deep freezer. I am grateful and I am not bragging.

It is so hard talking about overproduction with other moms because they mostly feel like I’m complaining about something that is “miraculous”. I just want to say, OVERPRODUCTION is NOT FUN. I am more than grateful to be able to produce milk to feed my baby. In the same token, I wish it was just “enough” and not “too much”. I HAVE to pump every 2 hours or I’ll become EXTREMELY engorged to the point it causes Migraine, backaches, and feeling like my chest is gonna cave in. My baby boy chokes almost every time I breastfeed him and we all know no one wants a choking baby. Often with overproduction baby gets too much watery foremilk and not enough of the fatty hind milk so, baby vomits it all up, or feels unsatisfied. Which leads to me having to refeed him. I can’t go ANYWHERE without a pump. I have a let down just looking at my baby (every time seriously) or taking a shower or just watching a show that causes me happiness. Not to mention since my let down is so strong my baby is gulping and gasping for air and often swallows too much air and gets super gassy and fussy even if I try and pump before feeds. My husband had to purchase a extra deep freezer because of the amount of milk I have. I feed for 20 minutes and still pump 18-21 ounces out of ONE breast! Like my body believes I have triplets 😫

All I’m saying is the grass isn’t always greener on the other side!

This turned into a bit of a rant. Sorry. Again, I feel like I can NEVER talk about this because I seem “ungrateful”. Nothing wrong with wanting enough and not too much.