Should my son take my last name ? Or his fathers ??

Question

So my bf and I are both 18 and our pregnancy was a TOTAL surprise. Neither of us wanted it at first but we both fell in love with our beautiful baby boy. I am 35 wks + 4 days and Im starting to get a sunken feeling in my chest.Im not sure if my bf ever wanted to marry me or if he even plans to propose in the future. I know most women just allow the baby to take the fathers last name, but what about me ? I grew a living being for 10 months and I would want him to have a piece of me, you know? It would be different if I were married but idk. I just cant help feeling that as soon as my baby is born and I sign his last name on our baby's certificate, he will break up with me. Dont get me wrong, our relationship is golden ! Its just, I dont think that Im the woman he wants to spend fhe rest of his life with and it would shatter my soul if that ends up being the truth. I want nothing more than to marry him and give our child his last name, but if marriage isnt apart of the plan, who's last name does he get ??

Answer

You could always hyphenate it? Idk if that's an option for you but then it's the best of both worlds. I understand where you're coming from totally.

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I’ve had several friends be told by their doctor that got pregnant either before they were married or before they legally changed their last name say that the baby should always have the mom’s last name. If you take him to school or the doctors, you may have a hard time explaining or proving that he’s your son. It may not be an issue at all, but I know based on that advice, my friends all got married immediately and changed their last name if they wanted it the same as the father. Personal opinion, if I hadn’t changed my last name (which took me a year after being married), my child would have my last name.

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Oh I would absolutely give the child my last name. You can always change it if you get married.

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Personally, I would give the baby my own last name and tell my bf if we ever get married that we can change it to his last name. Having a child with a last name that doesn’t match yours can make traveling difficult (you have to carry extra paperwork to prove the child is yours and sometimes even that you have the fathers consent to travel). 
If you’re not worried about that and are just more worried about sentiment (or like you said, wanting him to have a “piece of you”) you could always have his middle name be your last name! That’s what my sister in law did since she never changed her last name when she got married, and she didn’t want her son to have a hyphenated last name

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I wouldn't give the baby his last name specially if he is not your fiance or husband, specially since you have feelings he won't ask to married him.

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My personal opinion would be to give my child their fathers last name unless the father is absent and does not wish to be apart of the child’s life.  However, I think you should also have a conversation with your bf about how you feel, I think that is more of where the concern is.

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I say hyphenate it, or give him your last name. You can always change it if you two do get married. 
The only reason my daughter is getting my fiancé’s last name is because we’re 100% getting married. If we were still only bf/gf she’d be getting my last name. But, I am a stubborn independent woman and this is just my opinion 😂
Do what you feel comfortable with, hun.

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I’m traditional and believe children should have their fathers last name. Unless the father is 100% absent and will have zero part in the child’s life then I would think about giving the child the mother’s last name. If you really feel the need you can hyphenate the last name to have both.

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The other questions that you need to ask yourself is has he been making a effort to be there for the pregnancy has he been going to appointments with you, has he been buying things for the baby. Is he going to help you with baby with money and all that!

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I’d def genuinely talk to him about the dilemma to see where his head is.

Should my son take my last name ? Or his fathers ??

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