Body image issues

So I’ve battled bulimia most of my adult life. The first trimester was very hard because I was so sick much. I’m not almost 19 weeks and even though I’ve managed to only gain 4/6 pounds, my face is rounder, my body is rounder, and I feel gross. I am a bigger girl to begin with. I find it really hard to 1) eat, bc I crave weird food & then feel guilty I’m eating shit. I often only eat once a day. 2) accept my body. I wanted this for so long but it’s hard to see yourself get bigger. My boyfriend makes comments about how I’m getting rounder, and I’m just gonna get bigger. It’s really hard.

I have not once during this pregnancy asked my boyfriend to go get me anything. I haven’t woken him up with weird cravings. I just try and push it all down. Yesterday all I wanted was a spicy chicken sandwich and he told me I need to eat healthier and that’s crap. Maybe I’m just super sensitive, but he literally does not understand that when and IF I eat, I can’t really help what I want :/ anyone else struggle with eating disorders and body image?