I've had a rocky relationship with him for awhile. He has depression and anxiety and can sometime go into rages that are honestly terrifying. He lost his job awhile ago, due to no fault of his own just layoffs. He still works and has a small income due to a small business him and his friend started years ago. He hasnt been able to find another job. Apparently he has alot debt and he feels financially hopeless... apparently my huge college debt has been saddled with him.. I never do the finances so I didn't know this since I will be paying back the college fees myself eventually, not him. He puts down my mom alot and I try to defend her and keep trying to set new precedents and boundaries.. my mom is not responsible for dinner every night, or cleaning the entire house - she has a job too plus taking care of us kids.. he should help out also or at least not belittle her if she isn't able to do it to his standards.

He keeps getting upset and yelling I'm a failure, which honestly I don't see as true, he keeps saying he's hopeless, he has even tried to talk about my life and my own life choices as if my expensive college education was a mistake and says I should feel hopeless too because I'm going into a career in art.. I do have issues with mental illness myself mostly because of him, and I don't know how to help him and he won't accept help ... so at the very least I wish I could help my mom because im so scared to move out and leave her alone with him in the house.. but she only has a part time salary at an elementary school she wouldn't be able to support herself on her own so she can't divorce him. He has never physically hurt us but.. it has seemed close or possible, ive honestly always wish he would so we would have a more obvious reason to leave or make him get help or something! I just wish something would happen.. I feel like I'm stuck in limbo and I have all this pressure to fix it and I don't know what to do.. it's this huge weight on my back and I can't lift it.

and the big kicker right now is he keeps telling us he has no money whenever we want to do anything and yet he just bought himself this 700$ gun so he can shoot projectiles at his brother's house. and you can't have discussions with him without him resorting to playing the victim and acting accused and defensive and then he'll start yelling and walk away. I just can't handle this anymore, I have developed a panic disorder, I have panic attacks so often and I just don't know what to do and I have no one to talk about it with... I went to a therapist once and tried to talk to then about it for advice and they just said you can't make him doing anything he doesn't want to, that's true but what CAN I DO? what can I say how can I help my mom? i have to live here a few more years to finish my education I can't just leave nor do I want to leave my mom I just.. I dont know, I'm starting to feel a bit hopeless myself I thought my depression was getting better until I came back home from school