Ok so this is a bit of a story but I would really appreciate if you read through the whole thing because I really need advice:

I’ve had this friend (I’m just gonna call her Jess bc idk if she or anyone I know is gonna see this) and I’ve been friends with Jess since 6th grade. We were inseparable up until freshman year of high school. She started ditching me for other people and I felt really alone and I kept asking her if I could hang out with her and her new friends and she’d always say “yeah we should all hang out together sometime!” But she never planned anything or even invited me to eat lunch with her new friends. I started feeling like she didn’t want to be my friend anymore but just didn’t want to tell me. It turned out she was just going through a phase and long story short we’re friends again and I’m part of her new friend group now too.

I thought that Jess and I were done with all our problems but sophomore year came and things started to change again. She (again) found some new friends but still made time for me and her other friends so I never really thought it was an issue. But she started hanging out with them more and more and apparently she started smoking weed with them too, only like every other weekend though so I didn’t make a big deal out of it. Although it got to the point where she was hanging out with these people so much that she missed one of her best friends’ graduation and cancelled plans that we’ve had for months just so she could get high with these random people. Recently, she even lied to me about it saying she had a doctors appointment so she couldn’t hang out and then I saw on one of her new friend’s snapchat story that she was (shocker) at her house getting high. Every time we hang out, these people are all she talks about. So naturally, I confronted her about it but she got super defensive about it so I just gave up.

I thought this would just be a phase like the last time but Jess keeps saying this really disturbing stuff about her family life and I feel like that might be why she’s changed so much. I know her mom drinks a lot and Jess told me that the night our end of year report cards came out, her mom drunkenly called her a disappointment because she failed a class and locked herself in her room for the rest of the night and Jess just said this in passing as if it was no big deal. This makes me feel like this is a regular occurrence which is strange because her mom is like a second mom to me and is the sweetest person I know so I don’t know why she would say stuff like that. Also, her dad knows that she’s been struggling in school lately and having issues with her mom so he legit BOUGHT HER a dab pen to help her with stress, which isn’t helping her addiction at all. I found out that she got high every day this week and it’s seriously affecting her grades. I think she might be depressed but she’s been treating me like shit lately and ditching me for other people AND lying to me about it so I don’t know whether I should feel bad for her and try to help her or just cut her out of my life all together. She’s toxic and bad for my mental health but I also know she’s having issues at home so maybe she just needs help? But also does she really deserve my help if she’s going to make me feel awful and take advantage of my loyalty? I’m feeling really conflicted right now... I care about her obviously because she’s my friend but I don’t know if I can keep putting myself through her bullshit anymore, it’s so exhausting and I’m sick of being a good friend but getting nothing in return. But I know she’ll get mad if I stop talking to her and I don’t want to make her life any worse than it already is so what should I do? Try to help her or put my mental health first and let her go?