Sorry this is such a long post. But my husband and I are in a rut. He has a very abrasive personality and not many friends. He talks with the guys he works with and once in awhile gets a call from guys he's known in the past. But he seriously needs a new friend to go fishing with or just simply talk too. His older brother is boring and only wants to gossip about work [they work for the same company]. His younger brother and him don't really have a relationship. They fought alot growing up and my hubby "busts his balls so he toughens up a bit". That's part of a deeper issue I think. He thinks he should just be able to joke around and make mean comments to people and as long as he feels it's all in good fun, the other person should too or he'll consider them weak. He wasn't this bad when we first got together, atleast not to me. He spends alot of time on Facebook arguing with total strangers. He gets hung up on trolls who tell him he's a pussy if he didn't vote for trump. Why argue with idiots? Why not have constructive comversations or idk, talk to ME.

The abrasivness has just been getting worse through the years and I'm finally realizing it's a total turn off for me. I haven't been in the mood for sex in a lonnnnngggg time, I mostly just go through the motions b/c honestly, I'm scared he would justify in his own mind getting it somewhere else. He will do or not do something and when he gets called out on it, completely deny it until he's blue in the face or I just give up.

It matters so much more now b/c we have a 2.5 month old son. When we first brought him home my husband kept falling asleep w/ him on his chest in bed. It scared me as a FTM b/c I was paranoid he would drop him or let him slide off and then roll over on him. I asked him & explained to him calmly why neither of us can do that despite how exhausted we both were. I finally snapped one night b/c it happened again and when I was explaining myself yet again, he said condescedingly "I don't care" like a parent does to a child. That night I found enough strength in me to calm down, not yell in front of the baby but just go out to the couch and nurse him back to sleep b/c he was awake & I nurse on demand. My husband followed me, kept circling the room and arguing that he didn't fall asleep- he tried convincing me that I was just being paranoid. No. I know what happened & like usual, he was bullshitting but this wasn't as trivial as who always changes the toilet paper roll.

He's made comments about how I'm not into him anymore & I feel bad & tell him I'm just tired & have alot to catch up on around the house.

We don't go out much and going over to visit one of my friends is always awkward so I go by myself.

He had friends out of high school but they were assholes that didn't really like him they just seemed to tolerate him. They didn't like me b/c I didn't like the way I felt disrespected when they were around. They would all get drunk and talk about sex with ex's or other immature shit. That was 8 yrs. ago and he doesn't talk to any of them now.

Our last encounter w/ one of those guys & really out to a party atmosphere was at my 5 year class reunion when that guy was bartending for it. He kept shooting my husband dirty looks & apparently spit wadding. My husband wanted to leave & told me all of this afterward. My husband claims he didn't confront the guy b/c he didn't want to make a scene. Honestly, I think he's not as badass as he likes to portray himself. But lately I can't say anything hardly w/out having to couch it & really choose my words/tone carefully. But he makes jokes still about me & goes on tangents about things I do or don't do & I gotta laugh or I'm "in a mood". Idk what to do anymore. I tried to talk to him about it tonight but idk how much actually got through. I don't want to hate my sex life for the rest of our lives together & want to be attracted to him again. I need suggestions and perhaps a different perspective. Maybe I'm being critical and he's depressed. I've suggested marriage counselling and he's totally against going. I don't think he could be honest there anyway. So I just go to therapy by myself and my therapist treats me more like a friend than a client so we don't get alot accomplished. Our son deserves to grow in a healthy loving environment. Please, help me.