Please Help, is this normal?

Question

I was sexually abused as a teenager, and I feel like I’ve gotten past it. But, I have an overwhelming fear that something like that will happen to my 3 year old son. I find myself picking at little things people do with him-which are probably completely innocent, like play wrestling with my dad, my husband and FIL. And find myself being really scared that they have different/bad intentions. It’s getting to the point that I don’t trust ANYONE. Am I just super paranoid? What wrong with me?

Answer

This is completely normal. I understand entirely why you feel that way. As a mother you’re entitled to feel that way. We live in a sick world and you’ve experienced it and know what’s out there. So trying to shelter your baby from is just a mother’s reflex. You do eventually have to try to let go a little and trust. Have the talk with him about what to do if in a potential situation like that. Counseling will help though with the trust issues.

Answer

I can completely understand that! Don't be too hard on yourself, but also reach out for help so someone can help keep you in reality. If you love your husband and know his intentions, tell him what happened and how you feel and what your fears are. Then he can help you reach out to the other close men in your life and maybe it will help you be supported and reassured. You may so feel like your son is being extra looked after and protected by the people closest to him. But don't suffer silently.

Answer

I completely understand this. Sometimes I fear being alone with my father or brother or any man at all because of what could happen. I have to remind myself not all people are bad. Your family loves you and anyone who cares about you would never have a thought like abusing your son, or you, cross their mind. I think it will just take time. Time will hopefully heal how we feel and I hope I am healed before I have children.

Answer

I don’t think your paranoid at all. I was groomed and molested for 5 years and there was so many signs that my parents ignored. You just have to trust your instincts and if something feels off then you can say that your uncomfortable with it.

Answer

No I don’t think your a bad person, I feel that way too. I do allow my dad to watch my son without thinking about him being unsafe with my dad. Why do you think your dad will do something? Did it do something to you? Also you should teach your son about his “wee wee” and tell him no one should ever touch him down there and to let you know if someone does.. that’s what I tell my son.

Please Help, is this normal?

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