Breastfeeding and exhausted!

I just have to vent a little about how exhausting it can be to be a breastfeeding mama. My sister-in-law had a baby 11 days before I did and I just can't help but feel jealous sometimes... I know I shouldn't be but I am a little.

Her son is on formula (absolutely nothing wrong with that - not bashing I promise!). She just seems to have all of this freedom, someone else can watch her son with no worrying about how much milk there is, having to pump, etc. I am working full time and pumping. At work I worry if I'm pumping enough for my daughter. I have to dismiss myself to pump around male coworkers. I worry about the time pumping takes me away from my work. I am constantly spending money on things to increase my supply, new pump parts, trial and error on what works for me, etc. I have to plan so much when I travel for work, I'm dreading my first trip away overnight.

I'm jealous that my SIL gets to work only a few days a week and I'm working full time. I wish I could have more time with my daughter ☹️ And when she works she doesn't have to worry about pumping!

The worst part is that her son is sleeping through the night and I am struggling hardcore with my daughter at night. This is probably why I feel this way cause I am SO exhausted! I feel like my husband can only help part of the night but I can never take a full night off ever and let dad handle it like she could do.

My SIL is always looking for opportunities for my MIL to watch my nephew so she and her hubby can go do things together. I have no energy to do things!! I also feel like it's just not worth the hassle of pumping...but I feel horrible turning my husband down all the time when he wants to have some date time with me. Ugh I'm just struggling 😭

Since my daughter was born I have absolutely LOVED being fortunate enough to be able to successfully breastfeed her. I still love it and our bond. I am striving to make it a year breastfeeding. I honestly am just going through a rough patch due to lack of sleep!! I hope it's just the 4 month sleep regression! If so it's been happening already for a month! So tired!

Thank you for reading such a long post 💓💓 Just felt like I couldn't talk to anyone about these things.

Love my daughter more than anything in the world and counting my blessings even though I'm tired 😄