My baby is due 9/14, my husband's brother gets married 10/26 (5 weeks after baby's due) 20 hours away. My husband is pseudo refusing to fly (he hasn't actually said the words "I refuse", but his inner 12 year old comes out whenever the topic comes up). His parents don't want to fly either, so they decided to do a road trip. I told them, I'd sit this once out (40 hours on the road with a 5 week old is an experience I only want to read about). As far as I understood, the plan was to drive half way Wed, the rest Thurs, stay for the wedding festivities Fri and Sat, drive back Sunday and Monday. So, DH would be gone from W-M at the very least. But they'd leave from his parents house, 3 hours away, so more realistically, it wild turn into him heading to their house Tuesday evening so they can wake up early and head out Wed and then possibly the same on the way back. So, long story short, I was prepared for a Tues to Tues (1 week) trip. (Keep in mind that that I'll have a 5 weeks old.... my first baby). I'll have some help, but nobody who will be able to stay with me the entire time. So, I'll be alone for parts of it. DH today tells me that his parents want to extend the trip by 4 days, so they can spend time in the city they'll be overnighting in (extending the trip from a probable 7 to 11 days). I feel like that's a bit ludacris (and to be honest kinda broke my heart that he didn't think twice about being away from his first born child, a son no less, for that long....This is the man who wanted me pregnant the day after we got married). I tried to keep my cool as I explained that 11 days is a long time to be away from your baby when he'll only be 4 weeks old (the trip would start earlier for the extra time) My husband said he didn't think it was a big deal and didn't seem to understand why it upset me. I know I'm not crazy, and I have a right to be upset. But I'm just not sure if I'm being TOO upset. I'm a little hurt that he didn't think it was a big deal to be gone from his new baby for a week and a half. But when I pointed it out to him, he said "Mom and dad are planning it. I'm just down for the ride" (very nonchalant and an obvious attempt at subverting guilt). I kinda lost my cool and now I'm having a hard time staying level headed, so I'd like advice. I'm a first time mom and would prefer not to be left alone for 4 extra days....I already kinda felt like I was compromising with him leaving for a week (it sorta annoyed me that he wouldn't fly). But I get that it's a fear (-ish.....I mean we just flew to Cabo last year..... but you can't easily drive to Cabo). At the same time I want him to have a great time with his family, and now I feel like his parents have to cut out part of their vacation to accommodate him (he's still not going to fly). What would you do? Should I just let him go the extra 4 days? Should I push got him to fly and gowith him (bring the baby)? I should add 1 thing...1) I've generally been a pretty laid back person. And I think he's kinda had this impression that I don't care what he does, because up until now, it was just me and he could plan things like this without consulting me, just tell me what he was doing, and it was no problem. So now I'm trying to establish a new pattern and let him know he needs to talk things out because it's not going to just be business as usual for me when he's gone and he needs to consider how out affects me and the baby. So, I feel a little bit more strongly that what I do needs to be in line with the new pattern. Thoughts?