Just an emotional rant

I'm upset because no doctors in my area will even try a VBAC. Our VBAC rates are some of the lowest in the state and probably only at 2% because of a fluke or something. The closest doctors that will do VBACs are 2 hours away. I tried to go to an appt today and got stuck in horrendous traffic and missed my appt so that's not going to be an option either. I've pretty much accepted I'll have to have another C-section. I know it's not the end of the world and at least my baby and pregnancy is healthy. I just really wanted to experience natural labor, my water breaking, pushing... I confided in my mom and she was like "oh well guess you can only have 3 kids." Super supportive.

Plus my first c-section was a terrible experience and I wasn't fully numb because my epidural had worn off. I screamed and threw up the entire time. I'm just super scared. Maybe they can just put me to sleep this time. 😣