A background, I am an adult at 19 and go to college and live relatively near everyone I know from the school. I have a friend we will call him Jay. And I had a huge crush on Jay, he was everything I dreamed about but Jay has some inner problems such as a god complex and claims to be demisexual. He gets extreme anxiety when he is about to have sex so he has remained a Virgin. Well when I was hitting on him 3-4 months ago after our first date after a good very friendship he only saw me as a friend. I was heart broken and eventually lowered a standard or two and found a guy we will call Carson. Carson and I have built a good friendship in our group and recently he apparently knows I like him but told my friend that he likes me and isn’t looking for a relationship like I am and doesn’t want to hurt me and hasn’t told me yet cause we never had a good time alone. Me and Carson are seeing a movie tonight as friends. And Jay has been in France with his dad. I really want a magnet and Jay joked around saying “send nudes” and such so I did. It got flirty. And Jay is never ever like this. This is once in a blue moon emotion for him. He doesn’t get intimate at all. He doesn’t like it and feels guilty every time after. So now I have rekindled a bit of my self towards Jay and it hurts me as well since I really want to be with Carson. And yet neither want to be tied down or want to legitimately be with me. It’s also a inner fight between myself of letting myself go out and hoe around or remain true to a good streak of self respect and morals I have. Any comments or advice? Greatly needed.