Its been an emotional week...a week ago today i took a pregnancy test and got a positive, something I haven't had in years. My heart was so full I had recently been thinking adopting may be the only way for me to have a baby. Then 3 days later I start spotting. I try to keep calm, they say its normal right? The next day a few hours into my work day the spotting turned red and started coming quicker. I tell my boss I need to use pto and head home. I try laying down to de-stress hoping that it will slow up. But it just keeps coming and now I'm in ungodly pain. I head to the hospital thinking ok another miscarriage why did I let myself get my hopes up thinking this one would be better, that this one would stick. They run bloodwork, urine, the works. Hcg is just shy of where it should be based on last cycle. But no sign of fetus in ultrasound. They tell me maybe I'm not as far along as I thought and bleeding is not uncommon. Told me to come back in 2 days. So I went back yesterday. Hcg went up but not as much as it should have and still no sign of fetus or tissues or anything. They tell me its ectopic. Endometriosis strikes again. As if I wasn't feeling sad and broken enough thinking I miscarried, now this. By body said fine I'll give you a baby but not where it will do you any good. Ugh I feel so empty and hurt and in pain and sick from the chemo crap they put in me to kill off these cells. This is the only place I could think of to post this where people would understand how I'm feeling