Sorry, long post. I wanted to share my story on this group.

Firstly I hate the fact that any of us are on this group and that there even is a group for loss. I am truly sorry for all on this group. I don’t think anyone will really understand what we are going through.

I had a healthy pregnancy (I was very surprised that I could get pregnant, due to endometriosis). Every checkup with the doctor was great, he only gave us good news. Dalton was growing nicely and everything seemed perfect , every passing day was a day closer to us meeting him. Everything was perfect until that second that changed my life forever.

I was scheduled for a c-section on the 2nd of April 2019. On the 31st of March 2019 (two days prior) I didn’t feel him moving or kicking. Doctor confirmed that he was no longer with us. When I received the news I went totally numb and I wanted to wake up from this horrible nightmare, unfortunately I woke up from anesthetics with him no longer safe in my uterus. There is absolutely no emotion that one can use to describe what you are feeling. I think I prayed to God for me to die cause I didn’t want to carry on with this life without our precious Dalton boy.

We spend some time with him and prayed for him. He was our very first pregnancy and to me he was the most beautiful most perfect baby that I have ever seen. We imagined our lives differently. He has the most beautiful nursery that was waiting for him. Instead we were only able to bring him home in a little box with a (death) certificate. I hate how unfair this life is. There was no cause found. No one could explain to me what had happened.

Currently my husband and I have been given the green light to try again. I think we are both very excited and very scared at the same time. The gynea did an ultrasound just last week and he reckons that I’m not ovulating and my lining is too thin. This was probably the worst news to receive after Dalton’s death. Will I ever be able to get pregnant again and finally become a little family. At the moment it feels like I am not destined to be a mother.

I have also been tracking my cycles and I have a short luteal phase. I ovulated around Monday/Tuesday (1/2nd July) and my AF is due next week.

I wanted to end my post off with a photo of our precious Dalton. I want to show the world how beautiful he is.

To everyone in this group , I hope that we all will only have good positive things coming our way. Everything that our broken hearts desire. I think we have suffered too much and it’s our time now.

This is my husband and my beautiful boy Dalton.