Waiting 😩

Due my period Tuesday hoping it don’t come and I’m pregnant again (3rd time lucky first and second were miscarriages). All I can think about today is having two lines on a test, my first scan, my stomach growing, finding out if we’re having a girl or boy, giving birth, having my baby in my arms. When I dream I see my babies face, I know my babies name. I just really want this to happen for us. Losing two babies is hard, losing hope is harder. Will this ever happen for me? 😰 having one of them days...