Trying to stay positive

So my miscarriage story.

Last September I found out I was pregnant. We had honestly been trying and we felt super lucky that after only two cycles I was carrying our first child together. My boyfriend has no kids and neither do I so to say we’re excited was an understatement of sorts! We went to doctors appointments together and we followed every rule the doctor gave me. Then in the middle of December, my water broke. It was late at night and we didn’t know what was wrong at first. ( I had honestly just thought I’d peed the bed) but after some contemplation and some inspiring that I didn’t just accidentally pee, we rushed to the hospital. They ran a million tests and nobody would tell us anything. After being at the hospital for over 4 hours, the doctor finally came back in. She explained that my water had broke and there was no amniotic fluid surrounding my son. She was in tears with us as well as the nurses in the room. My son was still breathing and kicking though but they said he wouldn’t develop correctly without the fluid. Still. We prayed and prayed. Two weeks later, I went through the worst pain of my life. It started with cramps and then while I’m the bathroom I looked down and saw two little legs. I screamed and screamed and screamed. I gave birth to my son that night in the hospital. The worst feeling about any of it, was they took him before I could even see his sweet face. It took me a very long time it felt like to be okay after that. I had quit my job working at a preschool because it was just too much to handle. After some classes I was finally able to move forward. Now according to glow my period is 7 days late. According to Flo, my period isn’t due yet. I had started getting my period regularly in February and just updated both apps. They’re usually both right in sync with each other on what’s going on. Both with when my period will start and end along with ovulation days. My period was a few days late in May, and I kept both apps updated as to when it would start. Now they both say different things. I tried not to look too far into it, but then I started getting slight pregnancy symptoms. I want to have a baby and idk which one to listen to. My boyfriend wants to wait until Flo says my period is late to think about taking a test but that’s not until the end of the month. The anticipation is killing me! I’m terrified to lose another baby. And idk if I’m ready to go through it again. I want to but I’m so scared. And waiting for the test isn’t any better. Not really sure what to do or how to handle if I am pregnant again. Some encouragement would be great about now if anyone has any to spare 😔😔😔