Changed names to Bart and Ellen

This is the only place I can think to put this where I can get unbiased responses. So about a month ago, my boyfriend Bart and I had sex, both of our first times. Well literally a week and a half later, his parents found out, took everything away from him, and said awful things about me. They said they hated me, that his abusive ex was better than me, and that I’m a selfish whore that doesn’t deserve him. They think that I took advantage of him just because I’m a little bit older than him (5 months btw) and have made sure I know that I don’t deserve him. Something that I haven’t told anyone though is that I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t say anything or try to stop him, so he didn’t know that I didn’t want to continue. It’s been 3 weeks since I last spoke to him. His parents wouldn’t even let me wish him a happy birthday, which was on the 21st. I miss him so much. I’ve been coping with it in the worst way though, which is messing around with my ex-girlfriend, Ellen. Bart knows that she’s my ex, but he doesn’t know that she’s supposedly been in love with me since we broke up (7 months ago). I feel terrible because I broke up with Ellen for Bart. I’ve been having awful thoughts of hurting myself though, which isn’t surprising honestly with my depression. But Bart is the person who helps me with all of these thoughts, since medication and therapy do absolutely nothing for me. I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve been crying myself to sleep, picking fights with my mom and sister, sleeping the day away, and spending hours locked in the bathroom having panic attacks. I hate that I’ve let my life come to this and I have nobody to help make it better now.