Feeling like the worst mom ever

So, I posted about the news on how my little cousin passed away on 4th of July (drowned)

Today I recieved a call my mother was in a car accident. She is banged up a bit, but is okay.

I felt like I just lost all reality with the baby being extra fussy and crabby. I got to the point where I just set her down in her activity gym on the floor, and walked out on the porch and broke down crying. I could hear her screaming in the house because she wanted to be held, but I just didn't have it in me. I let her cry for 15 minutes before I went inside and held her again. I feel so guilty, ignoring her.. but I just hit my breaking point. Husband works full time and I am at home so I didn't have any help.

I feel like i neglected her needs, all day like I was just emotionally gone. When she was smiling and doing her little kicks and being her cute little show off self I hardly smiled back.

I know I am probably just pinning a lot of anger and sad feelings on myself, but I feel like a horse crap mom.

I am not usually like this, just starting to feel like I am falling apart. 😞