Not sad but disappointed

I am not sad but I’m disappointed

Their was this guy who we didn’t talk for months

And out of nowhere he texted me saying he wanted to speak to me

And I opened my doors

Wish I would’ve kept them shut

But I didnt because I thought he would different I told him I was scared because guys have hurted me a lot of them actually

I never could understand why and once upon a time I felt I was worthless I even told him that

And I kept pushing him away

Well yesterday I told him I wanted to work it out and he asked me if I was serious and I said yes

Well today he didn’t text me at all

Nor the day before I texted it first the reason why I kept pushing him away was because he didn’t really wanna know me He would always ask if I wanted to come to his house and chill

And this and that and yes he asked me on a date but I’m a busy person

I told him I was sick

And he left me on read I was extremely sick I wasn’t seeking attention whatsoever I was extremely hurt so my last text to him was i really like you and I don’t mean to be desperate but your the one that texted me first saying you wanted this

When we first started talking he told me he only had sex with one girl

Cool and then asked me if I was innocent he also asked me

If I would come over as I said before hut he asked if I would kiss him he kept making comments about how nice my ass was

Unfortunately I feel dumb

Once again I got played by another guy and for what ? Because I’m nice I honestly don’t get it and I don’t wanna belittle myself because i deserve better but why can’t guys treat me right I don’t get it they come in to my life only to give me hell and make me feel like I’m worthless what can I actually do to make myself worthy in their eyes because I’m lost right now . ?

Please comment give me advice post like this get ignored but hopefully someone reads it