I’m writing this not to argue about vaccinations but to seek advice on how I should handle this. Basically, my husband is anti-vaxx and refuses to get our daughter vaccinated. (This was not something he had ever mentioned until about halfway through my pregnancy and frankly, not something I thought was a problem).

Me personally never questioned vaccinations as all my friends have vaccinated their children. I’m also a teacher and know my students are vaccinated to get into my school.

When the topic came up halfway through my pregnancy my husband got very angry with me that I would “poison” our daughter like that and told me to do my research. So I tried the best I could. I told him maybe we could look into a delayed schedule and pick and choose which vaccines to get... for example the Flu Shot she doesn’t necessarily need because there are different strands. (I never get the flu shot and neither does my husband. I’ve also had friends who have gotten a flu shot and then got a different strand of the flu).

He said he will never vaccinate his children because of the chemicals inside the vaccines and that doctors shouldn’t be trusted because they get a kick back from having their patients vaccinated.... and he all of a sudden became a conspiracy theorist. He also told me that their immune systems will be weakened as well from getting the vaccine and could still get the disease she’s vaccinated against.

If I end up vaccinating our daughter, and she gets a vaccine injury or she gets really sick down the line because of it, then he said I would have to live with that- that I caused that and he’d never forgive me for it.

Questions I asked... his answers in parentheses.

how will she go to school or participate in sports (she can get an exemption form). Will we ever go out of the country? (No answer) What if she does contract one of these preventable diseases, how would you feel knowing it could be prevented? (She could still get the disease with the vaccine). What if she doesn’t have any negative reactions to vaccines and we never have an issue with her? (She would still have all those chemicals in her).

I feel like either way, I’m going to lose.

1. Don’t vaccinate her, and constantly worry she will contract something or infect someone else. Or she actually does contract something.

2. Vaccinate her which would anger my husband and he will never forgive me... she had a negative reaction to a vaccine and he will say this is all my fault.

Any advice on how to handle this situation would be appreciated. I’m just really stressed and worried. I just want to keep my daughter safe and do what’s best for her.