Just having a moan.

Literally just having a moan, I'm being alittle sensitive but I'd like to just have a whine and get it out of my system 😫 it's nothing bad, it isn't having a prolonged effect on me and it's usually when I'm tired that it tweaks a nerve but other than that it is water off a ducks back, I genuinely dont take it to heart as it seems here, thank you for letting me have a rant, will try and keep it short:

I'm hitting a pinnacle of busy at the moment, im having scans every 2 to 3 weeks due to my surprise pregnancy (thankful ofcourse), I'm helping my brother with his business, we've hired a skip next week to completely gutter the house as I seriously need it cleared out, my mums wedding is the week after, I'm autistic and have bpd, I've just discharged myself from my psychiatrist and focusing on perinatal. I'm a first time mum to be.

My best friend has already had her child who is 1 year old now & anytime I mention any symptoms of pregnancy or any worry i do have i get a "you've got enough support you'll be fine" I understand she has her own stuff going off and I really dont do it to garner sympathy we've been best friends for absolutely years but when she's asking how it's all going and I'm being honest it just seems to be brushed off as if I'm complaining 😕 I'm not... we're engaging in an honest conversation..just the same as when she was pregnant 🤷‍♀️

As soon as i apologise and say I'm alittle swamped to my step mum about not coming through for dinner all I get is "you dont know what swamped is hahahahahaahhaahaha I've got 2 kids, oh my belly sorry but its true" and feel alittle patronised 🤷‍♀️ dont get me wrong i dont cry over it and im not even upset, it usually doesn't phase me but ya know when you're just like -I'll just leave it at that theres really no point carrying this conversation on-

At the end of the day yes, they've been through it, they've smashed it, it's nothing new to them BUT just because they've been through it doesn't mean it isn't new to me 🤷‍♀️