him going down on me

so my bf who i love very much used to say that he wanted to give me head and make me cum etc. this was before he actually did & before we started having sex.

the one time he did, we were rushed and it wasn’t amazing or anything as it was his first time.

since then he hasn’t done it & seems to not want to. after he did that one time, he said that pineapple juice would make both of us taste better (cum doesn’t taste good at all), but i still give him head bc i like the way it feels when he feels good.

i guess what i’m trying to say is, how do i confront this?

i’m not selfish, i don’t need it, but it just makes me wonder like was it that bad? am i not that good?