That moment when you are out enjoying your birthday dinner with your three-year-old (while hubby is traveling for work all week) and your male waiter tells you: “Oh so you’re pregnant - let me guess, only about a month left to go?”

What I said: “No maybe a little longer than that.” (With a smile)

What I wish I could have said:

NO ASSHOLE I HAVE FOUR MORE MONTHS TO GO IN THIS AWFUL SUMMER HEAT AND I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY CHEESECAKE WHILE MY KID IS GOING NUTS BECAUSE Y’ALL DONT EVEN HAVE CRAYONS HERE BEFORE I GO HOME & FORCE MY OVERLY TIRED ASS TO DO ALL THE CHORES UNTIL MY HUBBY COMES BACK. ON MY BIRTHDAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!! AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!