I finally feel okay to tell my story I’m sorry it’s long, I hope it helps some people.The last few months has been emotionally draining. I have suffered from irregular periods and hormonal imbalance due to PCOS. I was diagnosed with PCOS 10 years ago. 10 years ago I wasn’t worried because I was to young for children. They last 4 years my husband and I had tried to get pregnant. I would take multiple test trying to convince my self that I was pregnant, each month I would end up disappointed. In March I had finally conceived my first baby! Only thing I did differently that month was started drinking the premama drink. I’m a nurse and was on call the week I had found out. I didn’t realize that I had missed my period, it was the last thing on my mind. The night before I found out I was getting ready for work I told my husband I hadn’t started my period. He said “your not going to get it this month your pregnant”. I brushed it off and went to work. When I came home the next morning he was still saying I was pregnant. So I went and took a test. I couldn’t believe my eyes- two pink lines. So I took 2 digital tests- pregnant. I was so excited! The next day I called my primary care doctor and they confirmed I was pregnant! I went ahead and scheduled my 8week appointment. I felt better then ever my hormones was regulated and I felt healthy and happy! Everything was coming together in my life. I went to my 8week appointment and seen the heartbeat but my doctor said the baby was measuring small, but told me not to worry because it had a heartbeat and overall looked healthy. My doctor drew my progesterone level and told me depending on the level I may have to get shots. I was willing to do anything for my baby. My mom and MIL had went to the doctor with me they were so excited! I had posted on glow asking if I should worry people gave me hope saying no. Later that day I started bleeding. My doctor told me to go to the ER. The hospital drew more labs and gave fluids. My Hcg level was 10,000! It was great. They would not do another ultrasound since I had one earlier in the day. They sent me home and told me pelvic rest and that I was having a threatened miscarriage. My doctors office called me the next morning I told them what the hospital had said and they told me my progesterone level was at 2 and that I was having a miscarriage. They scheduled me an appointment for the following week to see if I was able to pass everything by myself. I have never been in so much pain. I called my nurse friends asking them what I should do and they said to take some pain medicine that I had leftover from a surgery and take aspirin to thin my blood. My husband even gave me a couple shots of whiskey. When my blood was thin it hurt less. The next day I had to go back to work. 2 of my friends had found out they were pregnant and where as far along as I was and it was hard to know they were still pregnant, it’s still hard bowing I would be 20 weeks but I’m not. The day before my ultrasound I felt like I needed to urinate, what I didn’t realize was I actually needed to push my baby out. The sac and all came out, blood went everywhere. Size of my fist I was frightened. Then the bleeding suddenly stopped. I went to my ultrasound and the doctors office still had it in the system that I was pregnant so the ultrasound tech and front desk was trying to get me excited for my ultrasound until I told them it’s not a happy moment I had miscarried. During the ultrasound I did not cry. But as soon as my doctor came in I instantly started crying. My doctor was so wonderful he let me cry on his shoulder and told me next time he will see me the day I get a positive test and will start the progesterone immediately. That he would not make me go through that again. To top it all off my first Mother’s Day I was having a miscarriage, I felt like a failure.

We had told everyone at my work and all of our family that we were pregnant. I was scared to tell people at first that we had miscarried worried they would think I had been lying about being pregnant but I had an ultrasound proving i was pregnant so I told everyone we had miscarried. That was the best thing I could have done. I had so MUCH support. Everyone was wonderful. My husband and I have decided to wait to try to conceive again but we know it’s possible! Don’t lose hope! It will happen when you least expect it!