I.am.struggling.

I’m not depressed, but I am struggling. My whole life I’ve wanted to be a mama, my daughter is 8 weeks old & since my (now) husband and I first met 2 years ago we’ve both said we wanted kids a year apart! We PLANNED for that. We got pregnant 2 weeks after our wedding. I’ve recently brought up the topic of baby #2. We’ve talked and talked, & we’re both on board!

This is my fertile week and I’ve mentioned it to my husband, he sees the ovulation tests on the bathroom counter, he KNOWS. When he gets home from work he’s all game for BD, but around 10pm when we put our baby down he’s “just too tired”. We got into it tonight cause he specifically has not wanted to have sex ALL WEEK? We started arguing about how “you’ll always be tired in the evening/nighttime, you went to work today?” And he lashed back with “you don’t do anything all day of course you aren’t tired”

My heart broke. It’s not that serious, I know, but we both have the mindset of “the man goes to work and the woman stays home to raise the babies” (don’t get me wrong I adore my daughter and wouldn’t trade it for the world) how could he throw it in my face that I stay home with our baby? We agreed in that? That was our plan? It made me feel worthless and taken advantage of

Later in bed, about an hour ago, he apologized and said he didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I am still so livid. I didn’t say anything. I haven’t spoken to him since.

I guess I’m just trying to say idk what to do, he agrees to try for baby #2, but once we put our daughter to bed “he’s too tired”, I thought this was important to us? We have a PLAN? My most fertile days are today (18th) and tomorrow 19th. I thought we wanted this so I’m giving it my all, and I really wanted to try this month, and I just feel like he’s so not on board, but then tells me he is, I get excited, and then all my hopes are let down and my feelings are hurt. It could just be my hormones but this has been going on all week.