Gabriel,

In just less than a week will mark two years, since you’ve been gone.

Mama has struggled hard in sharing all the signs you’ve given her and daddy. Perhaps it is me wanting to hold on to you just a little bit longer. But as more and more signs you have left for us to see, I realize maybe it’s meant to be shared with the world.

Maybe, you will touch people’s hearts. Perhaps this was your purpose in this world, mama is ready to share more of you.

July 25, 2017

I was getting ready to go to work. I felt strong pains and thought that I needed to sit down. Daddy was still in bed. I saw some blood and I remember my heart stopped and I couldn’t hear myself calling for your dada, but I was in my head.

I walked hinged at the hips hugging you fighting tears, into bed thinking it’s just a scare. The pains were immensely strong I woke dada up and said “something is wrong, we need to go to the hospital” he got up to change. As he did that I felt a pool of wetness where I was laying. I tried to scream for help little one but nothing came out.

I got out of bed to realize that blood was running down my legs. I still hugged you tight and said to “hold on baby it’s not time - please don’t.” By that time I knew we were going to have you now and not in February.

My hemorrhage was uncontrollable. I told daddy to find you and that’s when we saw you, our dear Gabe.

I remember the day we had to prepare you for your burial. We made sure you had your blanky to keep you warm. I still prayed for you to be alive, to feel your flutters. I remember blurry faces and warm hugs. Not being strong enough to walk down the aisle with daddy holding your casket. I remember making you a promise that I’d keep you alive on this planet.

There’s not a day I don’t think of you. Not a day that I don’t wonder if Monserrat looks like you. Not a day that I don’t pray for you.

We love you so dearly.

Go and touch hearts in the world.

Love,

mommy and daddy

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