im 16 and have had depression and anxiety for 5 years and ptsd for 2 years. i self harmed a lot and have many scars on my body. i was clean for a year and 2 months until last night i relapsed because i couldn’t handle it anymore. my depression was getting better until about a month ago and it escalated very quickly followed by my anxiety to the point i’ve been having 2-3 anxiety/panic attacks every day. i’m really fed up with it because most of the time it’s because of my ptsd (from sexual harassment that lasted 7 month and led to several suicide attempts but failed each time) i have flashback because of it as well. i don’t know what to do anymore. it feels like i’m only getting worse. i don’t know how to calm myself during panic attacks. i can’t stop the flashbacks and i’m just so sick and tired of living like this. i’ve tried killing myself 8 times in the past 4 years but either end up in the hospital or someone has caught me. i’m just tired of everything. when i cut myself again when i relapsed i didn’t feel anything emotionally or mentally. i expected to feel guilty or disappointed in myself but i didn’t and still don’t. i don’t feel anything. any advice on any of this? i’m just really freaking tired of living this way

(i’ve posted this on another group as well)