im 16. i’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for 5 years going on 6. i’ve struggled with ptsd for 2 years from sexual harassment that lasted 7 months. i did a lot of self harm in those 5 years which was off and on in short amounts of time. one time i had went the whole summer because when i went to church camp with the youth group i decided i needed to figure myself out and better myself. well school started and that’s when the sexual harassment began, and so did the self harm once again. i’ve been a year and 2 months clean... until a few days ago i cut myself again. so i relapsed. i ended up having panic attacks during and after i was cutting myself. that’s another thing. i’ve been having 2-3 panic attacks every day since the sexual harassment and have also tried killing myself 8 times. i get flashbacks from it as well. i had always always prayed that God would heal me and i would ask for forgiveness but at some point in all of this i just stopped trying. i felt like i was being heard like he just doesn’t care. my friend died 2 months ago. my dog that i had trained to do deep pressure therapy for my panic attacks died 3 months ago. my best friend has been put in the hospital several times because he pushes himself too much. my boyfriend has been hospitalized because of people attacking him, he’s been in surgery twice since may. what do i do? when i’m losing the people and pet that i love. what do i do to help my best friend realize that he’s making himself worse when i’m doing the exact same thing. what do i do when my boyfriend keeps going to the hospital because of a fight and has to stay there several days for surgery? what do i do when i feel like my life is falling apart and God isn’t doing anything? i tried praying again and again and i’ve just given up because i feel nothing. i don’t care anymore and i’m tired of living this way.