How do you not let his low sex drive get to you?

Question

It usually doesn’t get to me, but times like this it does. I told him how I’m going to be on my period tomorrow, and I (attempting a sexy voice) said I need you tonight. He acted like I was asking him to do a horrible chore and groaned and wouldn’t look at me. Wouldn’t comment on it. And of course we didn’t have sex that night. 
We have sex maybe 3 times a month, which isn’t bad since we have exhausting jobs. But it’s always up to him when we have it, I can’t turn him on myself, not enough for him to actually want sex I mean. It makes me feel low about myself when he acts like this about it, it makes me feel unloved when he reacts that way too. I don’t have the best self confidence about my looks to begin with but I am fit and only 25 so I know it’s a him problem. He does show love to my body during random times, and I know he does love me but I wish he didn’t react so negatively when I say I want it at least... he already knows how I feel about that. 
I tried getting him men’s vitamins to help him with his sex drive but I have to be the one to remind him everyday to take them, and I guess they’re not even working. 
Anyways. If anyone can relate, I just need some advice/support
**he refuses to see a doctor, he doesn’t have health insurance

Answer

Omg this is me and my husband as well. What makes it worse is he’s in the army and literally has free insurance and still refuses to talk to a doctor about it. I have gained weight since we first started dating when I was 16 but I was also involved in a lot of sports and well life happens. Having sex is always on his terms, every time I ask he rejects me and it makes things a whole lot worse and of course I get in my feelings about it. I see everybody else on this app having sex multiple times a week and I’m lucky if I get 3-4 times a month. I think it’s been 3 weeks since the last time we did it, I’m dieing over here 😩

Answer

I’m going through the same right now. I’ve gained a lot of weight while he’s lost a lot of weight and I think that might be a factor. He’s also on a lot of medication for depression and anxiety though so it’s really hard to tell. It sucks because it never used to be like this. I’ve decided to just not initiate at all and let him come to me, because anytime I initiate I get shot down anyway and it just makes it worse.

Answer

I am sorry girl. I could have written your post. I am in the exact same situation with my husband.
A couple of years back he had his testosterone levels checked by his doctor. Apparently my husband has the testosterone level of your average 90 year old man. He was only 31 at the time. I'm fairly certain the extremely low testosterone is part of why he has virtually no sex drive. Or who knows maybe it's just how he is as a person outside of hormone imbalances. Either way we talked about maybe having him start testosterone supplements once we were done trying to have kids. He said the guys he knows who did T supplementation for low T generally felt better. They had more energy and all that. So that sounds great. Maybe you could get your husband to have his T level checked and just see if maybe it's a hormone imbalance thing. If it is you could both discuss whether it would be worth it to try T supplementation.

Answer

That’s tough. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I would have him go to the doctor. It could be a simple fix of balancing his hormones.

How do you not let his low sex drive get to you?

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