So beware this will be a long post...

Me and my feince got together almost 5 years ago. First year everything was and he was the sweetest guy opening doors and everything.. we now he doesnt even try. He doesnt try to look good. Doesnt try to have sex unless I say something about it.we tried for kids a while back and couldnt. So we decided to hold of till after college. I'm scared to even get on his phone cause he's usually talk to some girl on there it might not be talking talking but he still talking to other girls and when I say something about it he says he dodint do it or he dosen't know what I'm talking about. He used to look at other girls in public,but now I dont even notice cause I dont care to look. I used to want to better myself for him and our lifes. But now I just want to better myself. We dont go on dates or anything. We dont talk about our relationship cause everytime I try to we end up arguing so we dont tell each other how we feel. We been living togeather for these 5 years..to me it just feels like we live together and just talk about normal stuff for instance dinner,work etc. And we have sex every now and then. We say I love yours and cuddle in bed. But I just havent been truely happy in a very very long time. To tell the truth most of the time I'm happier when I'm not around him. I like when hes a work. I'm not as anxious when hes not here. And I raised his neicè basically and I love her to death. But when hes home I try to stay away from him amist if the time. Most of the time he's usually playing his game or sleeping...so idk what to do anymore. We also been in a few crazy fight where I went walking most of the time. Let me note if I ever did leave him I wouldn't have anywhere to go...