Today is my preemie son’s first birthday, I remember posting here almost every day with updates on my son, crying and praying with every fiber of my being that my sweet baby would make it, that he would come off all the machines and tubes and come home with me. I remember being so frustrated when I’d try to hold him because I couldn’t give my son a hug without a god damn machine beeping and screaming at me but I counted myself so lucky that I could even touch him that much, that I could pick him up and feel his tiny hand grasp my shirt or my hair as a tiny coo of happiness escaped. My son would lift his tiny head with all of his might to look at me, it’s like he knew that I needed that reassurance that he’d be okay. His skin was mostly opaque but the skin on his hands was almost translucent, it was so thin I could see the outline of his bones. I always prayed for every baby in the same NICU as my son, I prayed for their mamas too hoping their little ones would make it and that they’d be able to cradle them at home, safe and sound.

I’m forever grateful for the hospital staff that did everything they could to help my son come home to me, I’ll never forget their faces or their kind words, I’ll never forget how accommodating they were, I’ll never forget their patience and their kindness. I’ll also never forget how all of you prayed with me and I’ll never forget the stories you shared about your babies and their success. I just wanna say Happy Birthday to my sweet baby boy, Mama loves you ❤️