Why does fighting always lead to break up?

Question

People fight. If you love each other, you're going to fight eventually . But everytime WE fight... He packs his bags. He runs to his family and bashes me. Tells them he is done with me and moving out. Then he comes home. And we act like nothing happened. All the while, I havent vented to ONE persom or even thought of moving out. Or breaking up. I realize its just an argument . not the end of the world.  Why does he do this ? He is 32 yrs old btw. And im 29.

Answer

He does this because he doesn’t have the tools to deal with conflict appropriately and was taught to deal with it by walking away. It sounds as though your arguments aren’t being resolved properly by communicating effectively. Have you thought about couples counseling?

Answer

Its called holding the relationship hostage. It’s a form of manipulation. Usually, it’s a means to get your own way.... but seeing as he comes back and then acts like nothing happened, I’d say it has more to do with immaturity and an ability to discuss and resolve issues. The fact that he jumps to a break up immediately, to me says he isn’t really committed to this relationship and is looking for an out. If someone REALLY wants a relationship, then a break up is basically off the table. I think he probably just doesn’t have anywhere to go long term and probably will eventually work on moving out permanently. This is unsustainable... so either work on resolving the on going issues or work on separating permanently.

Answer

This isn’t healthy. Are the arguments always about the same things? Who apologises? Sounds like he doesn’t know how to deal with conflict properly and you guys could do with counselling

Answer

I’ve done this to my husband (not since being married) but in the beginning I did. I guess for me it was a security thing, I felt as though he hated me and there was no fixing it so if I shut off feelings it wouldn’t hurt as much. But at the end of the day I loved him so much and most fights I started being insecure. I feel dumb about it now but even when I “left” I knew I’d be right back. No fight could take my love away and I’ll always come back🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

Weird . When he next packs his bad change the locks

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You're talking about fighting like it's normal. It's not. It's a lack of communication skills. The other person is supposed to be your partner/teammate, not your adversary. I don't blame him for leaving, I don't get why he comes back. Who wants to live their life like that?

Answer

Why.. that's simple. Because he doesn't respect you and he isn't committed to you.. and you settled for a man who doesn't respect you and isn't committed to you.
🤷🏽‍♀️

Answer

Sounds like he has no idea how to cope with conflict and it’s actually turning him into an emotionally abusive person without even realizing it. If I were you, I would sit him down and let him know that threatening to leave your partner every time you argue is a form of emotional abuse and it will not be tolerated. If he needs to leave to have some space and calm down, that’s another story. There’s nothing wrong with that. But he shouldn’t pack his bags and tell you he’s leaving every time you argue. He should tell you that he needs to take a break from talking about it because he’s getting too upset and he’s going to leave to calm down and he’ll be back to talk about it when he’s calm. So tell him that when he leaves like that, it’s really hurtful and you need him to try to do it the other way instead. Walking away and calming down is beneficial to both of you. Saying you’re breaking up and leaving is not beneficial and will eventually put a lot of strain on this relationship. So if he wants it to work out, this is absolutely what he needs to do instead.

Answer

Bc he is immature bc this isnt how real grown men behave 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

He does that because he's very immature leaving a relationship because of a fight is definitely not the mature thing to do he might not know how to communicate properly and I personally feel like don't waste your time because it's just going to be like that always it may be his excuse to get out

Why does fighting always lead to break up?

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