So my husband and I are getting a divorce. Here’s a little back story.

We’ve always had a very difficult relationship. I got pregnant with our first 3 months after we started dating. As soon as he found out he went on a “camping trip” with his ex. Swore to me nothing happened, so I continued on with my life. Things just kept getting worse.

Every time we fought he would take away my phone, the WiFi, the car, and my debit card. During our HUGE fights he would tear apart the house, break down doors to get inside the room I was in, pick me up and throw me outside (most of the time in my bra and underwear) and lock me out without anywhere to go, or anyone to call (he had my phone)and one of those times I was pregnant with our second. And I’d have to sit out there for hours, half naked. He’s head butted me, kicked me in the stomach while pregnant, tossed me around. Never hit though, so most of the time I would say I had it better than some.

The day I decided to leave he came home on one of the MANY nights he stayed out at the bar until bar close. I decided to do his laundry and found a suboxone wrapper in his pants. I confronted him about it (I made sure to get a recording of it.) and his best friend/drug dealer has been giving them to him for a while now. My husband found out I was recording and threw me down and shattered my phone. I slapped him, then he picked me up and threw me up the stairs. He then started throwing shit at me and it hit out 5 month old infant. I called my mom and I’ve been gone ever since.

I just got full (temporary) custody of our kids, and I don’t know what hurts more, the fact that all they can do is cry because they miss him, or the fact that he hasent even tried to talk to his kids. But I’ve ran into him a couple times at the grocery store with his drug dealer, and he doesn’t even try to say hi to his babies (the oldest is four). I don’t know how this is going to end, or how I should handle the situation.

But I know I’m going to bust my ass to make this life as great as it can be for my babies.

~UPDATE~

Well it turns out he started doing Meth, during the divorce process. Which means he was doing it around our kids while he had custody of them. He destroyed one of our cars thinking that “somebody was listening to him” and he sold the other one to his drug dealer. He also managed to sell the rest of my belongings. All my jewelry is gone (a few of which were very special to me)

He is also in jail right now for trying to steal his dads boat, then he skipped town on bail. The police found him sleeping under a tree about 2 hours from where we live.

But you know what I have that he doesn’t? My babies. The divorce is over, and I now have sole legal, and sole physical custody. I have no car, nor do I have a lot of my personal belongings. But I have a roof over our head, food in our mouths, and the most precious gift of all? My babies. God is good, and I pray he gets the help he so desperately needs. We will make it.