I just need to vent, other then that not sure what I am after!

I am 38 weeks with my second baby and my husband and I split 6 months ago, he has moved on with his new girlfriend and her kids but dragging me through court cause he won’t have a conversation with me about how to best make things work for our toddler and the new baby, things are far from amicable.

Being so close to due with this baby all I can think about is how lonely this pregnancy has been doing it practically all on my own and how lonely the delivery will be. I think about how exciting and positive my first delivery with my toddler was by having my husband there and what a great support he was, I definitely don’t have that this time. My mum will be my support person but it’s not going to be as special. I am getting quite upset/angry/anxious/mixed emotions about it all!

I split with my ex due to domestic violence and I don’t love him anymore and I could never take him back after everything that has happened but I still keep finding myself focusing on the positive things we had which is causing the mixed emotions and confusing me!

I never wanted my life to turn out like this and it was always a fear as there are a lot of broken marriages in my family and I didn’t want to be another but here I am and to top it off pregnant! For the first time through all this I feel like a failure! I know the extra pregnancy hormones would be making it all harder but there is also some truth to it all!!

I guess I just needed to vent somewhere that someone might understand!