First all, I’ve never been the type to cry easily. It takes a lot. This is the second night where I’ve waited for my husband to fall asleep and I go to the bathroom and cry my eyes out. To the point of where my whole body is shaking. Lately I’ve been taking things so personal.. to the point where I can literally feel the pain in my heart. It’s all coming from my husband, so I feel bad talking about it to him. I used to could take it... It just hurts coming from someone you love.

Ex 1. This past weekend we celebrated our 1 year anniversary, with some friends that live 4 hours away. We took several pictures together before dinner. He was looking at the pictures and zooms in on my face. He shows the phone to me and our friends and says “look how great of a picture this is of my wife” and proceeds to laugh. It wasn’t the most flattering picture of me honestly, my double chin was showing bad and one of my eyes was halfway closed. I cried so long that night. I was so embarrassed. (Our friends didn’t laugh)

Ex2. We went to and outlet mall today. I bought 3 clothing articles. He was with me when I picked them out and asked him if he liked them. He goes with me to checkout to pay. Then on our way home he makes me feel so bad for spending so much money this weekend. That’s all I had bought. I thought since he watched me buy them and since it was our anniversary, it was ok. (Total was 65$).... so I waited for him to fall asleep tonight. And I’ve cried. If we didn’t live so far I’d take them back.

I just want to stop crying.