Hey ladies! Let me tell you our current habits and maybe y'all can help me out!!! And thank you so much to anyone who reads all this. 😭

So, I unknowingly created some not so good habits because I was seeking advice from my mom and MIL. While I don't disagree with their ways, it's just not working for me and my little guy! Ok, soooo. Right now he wakes up anywhere from 6-7:30 am. The rest of the day I just go according to his cues. He's sleepy? Nap time. Hungry? Feed time. He's pretty regular in his routine! He goes down within 1.5 hours from waking in the morning. Then 2 hours of being awake he'll take his afternoon nap which is always around 11:30 am. This was all his own doing. I don't try exact same times for naps or feeding. Bedtime always consists of a bath right before he looks like he is going to be too tired. I try to get bathtime in by 6, distract to get him down at 7. Sometimes it's later, sometimes sooner, but again this is related to the signs he's showing. He's a monster if I wait too long to put him down. 😂😂

Ok, so here is what helps him to sleep. His swing. And nursing. Uggghhhh! This is where I feel our major issues are. I'm nursing him to sleep and he is literally out within a minute of nursing, I know he's getting little to no milk, lol. And the swing I'm currently trying to "wean" him off. He only uses the swing for his 3 naps. Bedtime is near our bed and he wakes 1-2 times in the night for nursing. Whether or not it's comfort nursing or feeding I'm not quite sure, but he seems pretty hungry! I've seen him go back to sleep on his own in the middle of the night without crying, so I think he's capable of calming himself when he wakes not due to hunger.

My questions:

1. Can I comfort nurse him to sleep initially, and still create good sleeping habits, or do I need to stop doing that? It makes naps soooo much smoother for us! But he can only stay asleep if he's in his swing, otherwise he wakes up after 40 minutes and cannot fall back to sleep on his own. Bedtime is somehow totally different and I'm thankful for that.

2. Do you think my flexible way of doing things is a hindrance for healthy sleep habits?

I'm concerned that he is not getting the quality of sleep or healthy habits that he deserves. I'm looking for moms that have had success without needing a rigid schedule or letting their babies CIO. I'm fine with letting him fuss a bit but I cant stomach letting him cry as hard as he does. Any gradual ways of getting there? I may be told that because of my bad habits, I have no other options, but I hope that's not the case 😭 my mom seems to think letting him stay content and secure, he'll gradually get there on his own. That's what she did with me and my sister. He is very strong willed though and she's not familiar with this personality. 😂

(I know naps in swings are a no-no, but too late now, that is why I'm seeking non-CIO methods.)