I am just about done with trying to make female friendships work. Here’s a fun story about something that left a bad taste in my mouth today:

I have a friend who is apparently insecure about losing her friends to other friends. So much so that she hangs out with all her friends separately and rarely in a group! She does not have children.

Anyway, she has this one friend we will call H. H and her are very close and she’s super nice. I enjoy her and I’ve seen her enough throughout my friendship to the other friend. H, like me, was going to do

<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>

.

The last time I saw H, my friend and her and myself were going to a market. My friend goes “Don’t bring up

<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>

to her.”

This is after she had once veryyy casually mentioned she didn’t want us “bonding” over our infertility (to which I said, “That’s hurtful considering how lonely and scary it is”). Anyway I didn’t bring it up. This happened in Dec and it’s the last time I saw her.

Last weekend my friend told me she would be in my area (as in, a ten min walk from my house) to have brunch with H. I wasn’t invited and she said she’d pop over after but she said she was sick. I had told her to bring H too and that she’s always welcome. Neither came.

Today, my friend told me H is pregnant! WHAT! After all that time my husband was like “She was totally hiding her from you”! I have her # so I texted her to congratulate her because uh DUH I am so glad

<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>

worked for her. Turns out she has almost the same due date as me.

Anyway, my friend said that she “knew for a long time but couldn’t tell” but what harm would it have been for me to know? It put a really bad taste in my mouth and I honestly don’t trust her as much. Feels odd, to be honest, how very little I knew of H’s journey with

<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>

.

I usually don’t do this but I casually mentioned to H that I was told not to bring up stuff because this friend was worried we’d bond. I said, “I respected her wishes and turned to the internet to meet fellow IVFers because I was so lonely and scared.” I mostly did this because who knows what this friend was saying about me to her... you know? The whole thing has felt so secretive and it shouldn’t have been considering we are the same weeks pregnant and both had fertility issues. People like us NEED support.

Seriously though... am I paranoid or is this all a little deliberate sounding? What would you do? I don’t want to confront her but I certainly am not going to trust her as much.

Edit for clarification: H knew I was doing <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>, and she knew that I knew she was doing it too. My main concern was just how intentional it feels that she was trying to make plans that never involved both of us around each other.