ECV failed

Well, went in to try for an ECV for my breech bubba today. Baby wasn't having a bar of it! So now I'm staring down the barrel of a c-section I desperately wish I could avoid.

My first was such an incredibly positive birth experience and I was so looking forward to the same again. Now I need to let go of those expectations. Accept that if they turn on their own then awesome but most likely it'll be surgery and all that entails.

My brain knows I should just be grateful that bub is totally fine and that I live in an age when the solution is relatively low risk for both me and bub. But my heart is sad and I'm having trouble processing the change in plan. How do you choose babies birthday?? I love not knowing exactly then it will be. Sigh.

Sorry for the stream of conciousness. End rant.