Husband left us

Yesterday. He came today to pick up our 11 month old son for a bit.

He got a good nights rest while I go zero sleep. I worked at 4am so while he was sleeping at his grandmas staying up late playing video games my moms here watching our son. It’s not fair.

Part of me thinks he should be taking him at nite, he’s not even working. Part of me doesn’t want him too bc I’ll miss my son too much, and my husband has a habit of saying shut the fuck up to our son bc he doesn’t stop crying at nite and some other terrible things. I don’t want that for our son.

But now he’s playing the I’m the best dad ever card in front of his family bc Even tho he left he’s still seeing his son for only 4 hours tho. The rest of the 20 hours are with me.

I’m just feeling so confused. I don’t even know how to feel. I’m angry and sad. I should be happy he’s gone bc of the way he use to talk to me but I’m not.