It’s sad for me to even consider writing this. I’ve been with my fiancé for 4 years.

He has three kids from another marriage ages 11, 16 and 18 and there’s our daughter who’s almost 3 years old. Our relationship has always been hard because for one there’s a age difference between us and then there’s his 18 year old daughter who has made my life a living hell. I’ve had patience with her for 4 years and even after my fiancé has talked her, I’ve talked to her, weve both talked to her she doesn’t change. She’s disrespectful and adores her dad to the point where I feel like she treats him like her own husband. I get that daughters and father’s are close but she has this obsession with her dad it’s really frustrating. My fiancé has my back but she still finds a way to make me feel unhappy at home. I feel uncomfortable and I feel even worse when she wants nothing to do with my daughter. She treats our dog better than my daughter. My fiancé has talked to her multiple times, taken her stuff away, punished her and she’s the same person. I’ve done everything in my power to get close to her and she won’t budge. She has an ok relationship with her mom but it’s nothing like the relationship she has with her dad.

When I come home from work and her dad and her are just chilling on the couch watching tv, I can’t join without her immediately jumping up and going to her room because im there. She always puts her 2 cents in especially if it has to do with her dad. For example the other day I raised my voice at her dad (not loud) and she wanted to DISCIPLINE ME about being rude to him. I said excuse me, this is an adult conversation and she said “but I love my dad” like who does she think she is? She’s stollen my stuff in my past and denied it when I catch her. Then goes telling her sister I steal her stuff which is a lie cause I don’t fit into her things. She doenst think like an 18 year old. She thinks like a 15 year old. She’s homeschooled so she doenst so anything but hang out with her dad all day. When her dad and I have suggested she go hang out with friends she says no. She doenst take any initiative to find a job although we’ve said she should start looking. But she has no social skills so she’ll never be able to be nice with people. We’ve showed her nothing but love and she has a therapist at her school (she goes two times a week) whom she talks with and she likes her. But yet none of these things are changing her.

And I’m starting to lose feelings for my fiancé. I feel unhappy and resentful towards him and I don’t know why. I just feel mad when I’m home. I don’t even want to be there. I feel like I’m always walking on eggshells when she’s around and now that she lives with us permanently I feel so much stress. Like her mom should be looking after her not just us. She fights with her mom all the time so I’m sure her mom is glad she’s with us. But I can’t take it anymore and I’m considering telling my fiancé how I feel but I don’t know how without him getrint mad.

We did go in a trip in July for 5 days to New York. We had such a good time, I felt like we had connected again. But now we’re back, and arguments are starting to arise again between his daughter and I. The difference is that I don’t keep my mouth shut anymore so the tension between us has grown.