Please

I'm having alot of suicidal thoughts lately and I really want to right now and i have to means too and I'm trying hard not too but at the same time i really really really want to, none of my friends are taking me seriously rn bc I say I want to die alot but it's true every single time and I hate therapy and suicide prevention lines but I'm looking for real advice right about now im in the woods crying really loudly but I'm out of ear shot of everyone around here