I have a history of mental health disorders, ranging from PTSD to anxiety and depression with suicidal ideations.

I have been in therapy and overall I have been doing really well, not on any medication and I was overall very happy.

However, this past week I feel like I've been snowballing downhill. This past week my 20 month old was diagnosed with autism. On top of it, the specialist freaked me out by telling me this baby would have a higher chance of also being autistic.

I feel so overwhelmed with all of this information. My fiance works 6pm to 6am Monday through Friday so I'm pretty much doing it all alone throughout the week and it's so hard. Especially with another one arriving in about 5 months.

I'm trying so hard to be strong for my babies but I'm just so sad and terrified for what the future may hold. Some times I just want to run away and disappear for a while. And I feel so guilty for even feeling that way that it makes me feel even worse.

I guess i just need some support and words of encouragement 😞