I had my last baby on 12/4/2017. I had an early, 37 week delivery because of a uterine rupture in April of 2016 with my daughter. I ruptured on the operating table and had no idea how serious it was because nothing "bad" happened to either of us. When I hady last, i bled internally, I passed out, recieved several units of blood, it was a mess. The worst part of it was the recovery. It was the most painful thing I had ever experienced. 1000 times worse than my normal C sevtion recovery, I couldn't do anything for myself. My husband showered me, dressed me, put me into bed, he even changed my pads for me. It was horrific. It took me several months to completely heal, still having some complications by the time I fell pregnant again. I am currently 28 weeks pregnant and so scared. My anxiety has gotten the best of me. I am so terrified that I am going to die. It has made me extremely distant from the pregnancy and this baby. I haven't done any kind of preparation for him. He will be here on October 4th at 36 weeks, so less than 8 weeks and I've got nothing. I can't get myself to find him a name. I feel like I can't name him because something bad is going to happen and I don't want to name him until I know everything is going to be okay. I'm struggling to talk to people about my feelings, because I know I'm being irrational. I feel like nobody understands that no matter how crazy it may sounds it feels so real to me. I feel like it's getting worse the farther along I get. I just don't know how to cope.