I don’t know if we all have that one person. That person that you’ll always fall hard for again and again no matter what they do or what happens between you. And N, you’re that person for me. You’re my best friend, confidant, shoulder to cry on, and so much more. You are the first person I think to call when something good happens. The first person I need to talk to when I’m down. And I’m the first person you text when you haven’t done your homework. I’m that girl you call when you need help finishing a project. But I love you so I do it. And I keep loving you when you forget to text or call. I keep writing even if you don’t talk to me for a week, although we’re in the same classroom. You’re worlds away.

I get mad at you. I start to hate you. I decide I am over you. I never liked you. It was just a stupid crush. But then you smile. You text. You call. You tell me you love me and I’m the best thing that’s in your life. And I’m back under your spell again.

Dear N, please stop doing this to me. This continuous cycle is getting old and I don’t want to hurt. I don’t want to love you, so how do I stop?