I have a boy, I love being a boy mom. My son is however special needs and I’m terrified of having another special needs baby. My son will be 2, he’s hitting all his milestones as he should, but receives therapy, specialty doctors and surgery’s. We travel quite a bit for appointments as the closest children’s hospital is 1.5 hours away.

My sons ultrasounds all looked normal, he first got sick and hospitalized at 3 months old. He aspirates, has hydronephrosis of his kidney, he’s deaf in one ear, has a feeding tube, and had 22 admissions to children’s hospital, he has many other random issues as well. Many of which he was ambulance for emergency reasons.

I always say I was “lucky” that he was my only child and I was able to give all my attention to him. Now that there’s another little on the way I’m struggling that the baby may have similar issues.

I guess I’m trying to be happy, but I’m terrified at the same time, because the first time I didn’t get a normal shot at being a parent. Overall I think we probably spent a solid 6 months in the hospital if not more of his first year and a half of life.

I’m just struggling bad 😩

December of 2018