I found out I am pregnant the other day and my husband and I had agreed not to tell anyone until we were passed 10 or 12 weeks. Well, anytime I talked about baby stuff (I’m excited, okay?), my husband would just roll his eyes and look almost annoyed. I wanted someone to be excited with me. Someone to be giddy with, or get advice from. I desperately wanted to tell his sister, who is pregnant with her second. But he said no, we aren’t telling ANYONE. Then, I saw stuff about miscarriages on here, and I started to worry about that happening to me. I desperately NEEDED a girl. But I knew we shouldn’t tell family or close friends. Suddenly, boom, an old friend I had known since I was like 7 popped into my head. She’s older, has 3 kids, has had at least one miscarriage that I know of, and has messaged with me on and off for years. My husband doesn’t know her and she doesn’t see my family much, and she’s someone I trust.

Yesterday, I desperately needed someone to talk to about this. Hubs wasn’t around, and pretty much acts like I’m not pregnant, so I reached out and told her straight off that my family isn’t to know yet. She understood and congratulated me and told me to message her if I ever feel worried just need to gush about baby things.

Well, today, I was messaging with her and hubs asked why my messenger was blowing up. I said it was “K.” He asked “Why?!”

And now, he’s angry with me and says he can’t trust me anymore.

I told him, “I NEEDED A GIRL”

But he still is angry with me. Rightfully so... but I feel like it was the right thing to do still... yet also wrong. So conflicted.

Update:

First to clarify: my husband isn’t trying to cut me off from support through this pregnancy.

I believe he’s trying to save us the guilt or heartbreak of telling everyone the joyous news before the tragic possibility of a miscarriage and inevitably having to tell them that news if that were to happen. But, the protector that he is, doesn’t seem to understand how positivity can keep my stress levels low, and he’s not being overly positive for me, which caused me to break my promise and tell “K.” I also have a hard time keeping secrets, ESPECIALLY exciting ones such as this, so he should have foreseen this. He honestly should have been okay with me telling my best friend. But noooooooo, “DON’T TELL ANYONE. ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN.” Admit it, just saying that was definitely going to make this harder for me. I knew it, our dog knew it, our cats knew it, he should have known it. Again, I will openly admit I was wrong to just tell her behind his back. Trust is hard to make and easily to break. I plan to confront him, sit him down, apologize and explain all the factors that caused me to tell her and why I trust her to keep this a secret, why I needed a girl to talk to. I honestly don’t know how well it will go. But I can’t just have him upset with me.