Is my mother toxic?
So this is probably gonna be long, But I have absolutely no idea what is normal or not and need some advice!
My mother has always been very.... Clingy. She always wants to spend loads of time with me, I'm not allowed to sit in my bedroom by myself, she expects me to spend no more than one or two days out with friends, and gets really irritated and angry when my LD boyfriend comes to stay in my city for more than two nights. It makes it so hard for me to build relationships with other people, because if I see friends more than once or twice a week she gets really angry and 'upset' that I'm 'not interested in seeing her' so if friends ask to meet up most often I have to say no because I'm trying to balance work, college work, my mum and family then I'm not really left with time afterwards. She also says I have to go on holiday with her, then if I don't do her laundry or make her lunch she says I have to do it because she's paying for me to go on holiday with her- which I don't even want to do! She expects me to do A LOT for her- and I have no idea what is a normal amount to expect from your child? I do all the cooking (don't think she's cooked herself a meal since I was about 10- even when I'm ill, I was burnt my leg while cooking and could barely walk, still had to cook for myself even though I was absolutely terrified lol) I do my own, hers and her baby's laundry, all the dishes, vacuuming, sweeping, i tidy the crap she leaves scattered on the floor, look after her baby, deep clean the bathroom, you name it I do it!!! But she STILL complains about having to do *everything* and complains to her mother about how hard it is trying to do everything and says to me I'm old enough to look after myself- which I am and I do, but when I get irritated at always looking after her and her baby, she then gets all patronising and asks if my boyfriend is brain washing me and telling me to disobey my mother. Not only that but she is an atrocious hoarder, she's asked me a few times for me to help sort her bedroom and tidy it for her but I've always said no because that is just not my responsibility, I never set foot in the room, and now it is literally stacked floor to ceiling with stuff, you can't get into any of the furniture and have to basically throw yourself on to the bed at night. And the rest of the house is bad, we don't have a dining room cause it's just full of stuff, and we have piles of crap in our living room. This not only drives me mad living with so much rubbish but also strains mine and my partner's relationship cause I never just invite him round, cook him dinner do what normal couples do because my mum doesn't let anyone in the house because of the mess. She always throws stuff back in my face and says 'well you keep talking about moving out... This is what adult life is' and 'you want to be a mother so then you'll see'. But everytime I just want to yell 'this isn't fucking normal!!! Not everyone can't fit in their own house because of crap and isn't brain numbingly lazy!' I really want to just move out now I'm gonna be 18 next month, and tell her just fuck off when I do cause she's been a huge cause of unhappiness in my life. But am I just being rediculous... Just an overreacting teen? Everyome that doesn't know what she's like tells me to stay at home otherwise I'll be poor and regret it but I just hate being with such a lazy, rude mother and I honestly have no idea what to think of my own life anymore.
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