Guilty for having a second child?!

Question

Is it normal to feel guilty and selfish to have another child, my son will be 3 and I’ve just been thinking the worse... Sometimes lately, I look at my son and want to burst into tears. It’s not so much that I’m afraid I won’t love this second child. Logically, I know I will. But I am scared that having this second baby will change the way I love my son. We have a blast together right now, reading and playing and snuggling. Will I be able to do that? Or will I just be so tired and stressed out that I’ll just yell at him and tell him I’m busy?

Answer

My first is 3 and in 5 weeks or less her brother will be here. At times I feel guilty and at times I cry however she is so excited, she includes him in everything when talking about things. It’s so cute. I know it will be an adjustment and at time it will be hard but I honestly think it’s harder on us then them. I feel like a huge thing is that we realize that we would never want to make a child feel left out so we’ll do our best to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Answer

Having a second child won’t make you love your first born any less or different. But it’s a big adjustment, I still struggle with Mom guilt a lot and my son is 10 months. I have zero time for myself, hardly anytime for my husband, and I try my hardest to prioritize my kids over chores. It’s impossible to do everything good by yourself. In the beginning I always played with my daughter while my son took his naps and let her stay up late so she got some one on one time. My husband is in the military so he works long hours and is gone for work frequently, so the kids and household are my sole responsibility most of the time. My son isn’t the easiest as he won’t nap without being held since he started teething and he’s a terrible sleeper at night waking every 2 hours since he was born. So although my daughter loves her brother I have a lot of guilt for not being able to give her enough time.

Answer

I feel the same way. I'm 37 weeks with my second and so tired and in pain as is that I can barely play with her. It's not a nice feeling...
However, the best advise I've heard from women on here is to tend to your first child before your second if they're both wanting your attention. Your first child will remember but your newborn won't. Obviously if you can make it work that you can tend to your first while also tending to your second then by all means! It just isn't always possible.

Answer

I am pregnant with my second and my first is 8. I feel guilty sometimes. Me and her have a great relationship. We play video and board games together. We have tea parties and I make tinny food for them. We have a lot of fun together and I worry she will be sad when baby gets here and I don't have as much time especially right at first when her sister is a new born. I already feel so bad because I got put on hospital bed rest and I don't get to see my daughter every day like I normally do.

Answer

I’m not going to lie I felt guilty. Still do and my baby is 8 months old. My 3 year old had a hard time with becoming a big brother. Hated him, would cry anytime baby did. Would want me when feeding or anything. And sometimes we would snap at him. We’d try not to but baby’s are tiring and he’d get up at night when baby would cry. Now that baby isn’t so baring for him tho they are becoming best buds so it’s awesome to see. It will get easier but your guilt will come in other ways. Like feeling like you didn’t give one enough attention through out the day.

Answer

I didn't feel guilty for having a second...but I feel guilty about this one. Especially since my daughter has told me shes jealous. Her daddy had a baby with his girlfriend and I cant prove it, but I feel like they treated her different after baby was born, especially the girlfriend, and that's why my daughter is dreading this baby. I think shes afraid I'll forget about her so shes been getting extra spoiled since I found out..

Guilty for having a second child?!

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